Trusting Trusted Ones
I experienced something last night which I find is one of the hardest things to deal with as someone with Asperger syndrome - certainly in a work context.
I was at an informal drinks evening following a presentation. I was with a colleague and an ex-colleague. The latter, in particular, is a really nice person.
We were discussing the business and a couple of ex-colleagues who had both been moved on from the business. The exact circumstances of their leaving have never been known and their departures were never formally announced. Not surprisingly it caused murmurings around the office at the time.
It seems in one case that the person leaving did not leave for the reason I had thought. In both cases the people involved - both of whom I liked enormously - left because of the CEO.
I like the latter also. I have always got on very well with him and he seems an amiable person who, by-and-large, is keen to support people and doesn't deliberately ruffle feathers.
I wanted to discuss the matter further with my ex-colleague but drew back from doing so. Though I believe that the ex-colleague is a really nice, intelligent and trustworthy person, past experience has taught me that the best strategy - especially as someone with AS - is simply to not get involved.
I think that this was right. However, the conversation then started to move into areas about impending change and how people were not entirely happy with what "may" occur.
From what they said I feel they could be speaking sense. However, I have not picked up on any of this to date, nor can I effectively identify who I can trust so as to be able to interrogate (for the want of a better word), them to ascertain more.
This overall area - the office grapevine - is an area that I have still not developed sufficient expertise and skill within.
Premature Honesty
I thought that I would post a derivative of another aspect of this at the end of my first week in a new job.
I was telling a colleague (the person who interviewed me but whom I don't really know) about my old company and the circumstances of my leaving.
I was showing her some material that I had prepared with my old company and which we were evaluating for possible use in my new position. She was very impressed with and complimented me greatly. Her exact words were: "this is so much better than anything that I have produced!"
I think that this got me somewhat enthused which resulted in me lowering my guard a tad. The conversation moved on to my previous company and why I left: that some people didn't think that the material was actually good enough!
As the person rightly stated the latter was not correct. However, I thought afterwards that I should have been more guarded as my comments were somewhat injudicious.
The error resulted from my enthusiasm and, I think as my wife always says, my desire to be liked. It stems from a feeling that I have always had that, because of my Asperger syndrome, there is a reason why people may not like me.
I have forced myself of recent years to simply not accept this. I have also tried to ensure that, in a work context, I am not too open and honest and do not divulge anything that may be construed as negative or could be used against me.