Support Network
Submitted by Malcolm on Wed, 09/03/2008 - 06:16.
I am feeling very anxious at the moment because of the job situation.
I find that when I am in this frame of mind I don't function well. I kind of shut down and worry which I know is not good.
Is anyone else in a similar situation? I thought that it may be good to start a support network thread to provide mutual support?
New Book on Stress Management
As I have posted in my blog yesterday, there is a great book out (which I am reviewing currently for my next newsletter) called Anxiety and Asperger Management: A Guide to Successful Stress Management by Nick Dubin.
Check it out because it is well worth a read and a great source of information.
The the link on Amazon and its product review are as follows:
http://www.amazon.com/Asperger-Syndrome-Anxiety-Successful-Management/dp...
Many people suffer from feelings of stress and anxiety in their everyday lives. For people with Asperger Syndrome (AS), this stress can be particularly difficult to manage. On a daily basis people with AS must fit into a world that seems totally foreign to them and this can increase feelings of alienation and anxiety, making life's challenges especially hard to cope with.The first book on anxiety written specifically for adults with Asperger Syndrome, this book offers practical advice on how individuals with AS can manage their anxiety more effectively. As a person with AS who has struggled with feelings of anxiety and learnt how to overcome them, Nick Dubin shares his own tried and tested solutions along with up-to-date research on stress management for individuals with AS, including a chapter on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Dubin explores the key problem areas that can lead to anxiety for people with AS such as lack of social skills, difficulties establishing romantic relationships and uncertainty about employment."Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety" provides real solutions to a common problem and is essential reading for anyone with AS who has trouble managing stress. The book will also be of interest to family members, teachers and other professionals working with individuals with AS.
Support Networks
I do agree there should be a support network dealing with these particular types of problems at work including others. Actually I'll go the next mile and suggest that this group consider implementing a group chat so we can discuss various problems and experiences at work. It this is possible I think they would be a very good feature of this group.
What does everyone think?
Malcolm, I can see this job
Malcolm, I can see this job situation has been worrying you for a while. As far as I'm concerned, work conditions are the most important thing, even more so than money.
Are you wanting more money because you really need it or because you think that's what others expect of you? Good working conditions are like money in the bank in some ways because they help reduce your stress levels.
If your job is really at risk, I can see you would want to line up other possibilities, but otherwise it might just be better to stick with the boss you have (who you seem to get along well with) and take a wait and see attitude.
I'm probably not the most empathetic person around the place but certainly can relate to feeling stressed and worried about the future so maybe I can help a bit.
Influencing Factors
Its not money per se but the need to pay the bills!
In a way my working conditions remain good and I enjoy the relationship I have with my boss.
Its not a question either of others expecting me to bring in the cash; its more than I expect it of myself - out of responsbility for other people.
To cut to the chase: its the constant uncertainty that I find wearing.
Is it possible for the
Is it possible for the family to economise so the bills can be cut somewhat?
Outside Assistance
I have already instigated this strategy which has taken some of the pressure off. However, it is, of course, short term and not ideal.
This current situation has highlighted again the need for me to operate in an environment where I am not subjected to excessive uncertainty - and hence [negative] pressure and anxiety.
Its been stated many times before of course that people with AS find this very difficult. However, for me, its a process that simply is not worthwhile meaning that I know I have to make it one of my key job requirements and career planning objectives.
I can deal well with the right sort of pressure. When I was at the BBC for example, I found myself in pressurised situations but I didn't have the backdrop of excessive implications, i.e. potential job loss.
I think that it is these additional mental pressures that I don't cope well with: in other words, I can deal well with the pressure involved in projects or tasks if the going gets tough but not the wider implications if they mean uncertainty; they act as a distraction.
I have this strongly in mind going forward.
I had this same situation
I had this same situation with my last job, I finally said enough and went to another position that offered more stability.
I know that you like that job right now, but it's work. You have to do what you have to do. What is most important to you right now?
It sounds like job stability, and consistent way to pay the bills and low stress are your priorities right now. Please don't let loyalty get in the way of making 'executive" decisions that affect your life.
The Hardest Choice
I think that this is the hardest choice of all for me as a person with AS.
I have been in this position before, stuck at it, been loyal .... and paid a very heavy price for it.
I "am" looking around and, if I get offered something, will probably take it.
Against that I genuinely don't want to leave as I still feel that there is massive opportunity and I want to see it through and realise the real possible potential and rewards.
At the bottom of it all I wonder if there is a (unconscious) fear of change driving things?
Not sure
I think one of the problems with having AS is that it is very difficult to see other peoples situations from their point of view rather than your own.
I am certainly like this. Ask me to help you with something practical like which bank account is best or how to get from a to b via c the quickest way and to me that's easy.
Feeling is very different. I can't empathise, so I can't understand what your thoughts are unless they are the same as mine. I can't really even understand what having someone else's job would be like unless I have actually done it.
I would say that support networks are what some people with AS think they need, when infact most of us make choices based more on what is available to us rather than what we really choose to do.
Of advice, I believe that advice is what people suggest others do when they don't have to do it themselves.
That said I see no harm in asking advice or bouncing ideas off other people.
That certainly seems like a
That certainly seems like a great idea to me, although right now, I'm not in any similar situation myself.