Not Responding
I posted a note on a forum a couple of weeks ago saying that I was looking for short term work.
I did so because of the situation in my current company allied to the fact that there is relatively little I can do in the short term whilst we wait on other work.
I agreed with my boss that it would mutually beneficial and he was happy for me to proceed.
A couple of co-workers picked up on it and started to gossip. As I have got older I have tended to turn the other cheek, but this really agitated me. They have no idea of the personal pressure being put on management's circumstances and they, as yet, have yet to be affected.
Because of my Asperger I wanted to inform them of my displeasure. It relates of course to my inherent sense of "right": they had no right to question me in my eyes.
I decided not to respond. Firstly, because it would have heaped more pressure on my boss which he didn't need and, also, because I have learnt I need to accept that small talk of this type is inevitable at work and can be the trigger for escalating frictions.
Someone once advised me to "care less". Its all about balance of course; there are times when a situation becomes more serious and it needs to be confronted. I'm pleased however on this occasion that I have let it pass.
I would be interested in hearing about any similar situations that others have found themselves and what the outcomes were?
I don't know how many times
I don't know how many times I have just turned the other cheek and thought things would get better, only for people to assume instead that I was an easy target.
Right Response
Graeme
So what you are saying is that a response is required?
I think you could well be right. However, I think its important that any response strikes the right balance.
Like you, I have not responded in the past when I should have done but, at other times I have perhaps over-reacted which has provoked the other party.
I am sure what I would do in these circumstances but would be interested in hearing of your approach first.
Given that your boss is
Given that your boss is under pressure already, I think you did the right thing in not responding to the gossip. It was none of their business anyway.
I don't think ignoring this kind of thing is always for the best as you can be seen as an easy target but given the fraught circumstances at the moment, anything that is likely to aggravate the situation is best avoided and that's what you did.
Conflict De-touring
The key was not exacerbating the problem for my boss.
He has enough on his plate at the moment and I think the last thing he needs is for his closest senior manager to be stirring the pot. I didn't want to detour any friction between me and others through him.
I am his main support mechanism at the moment and I want it to remain that way.
Yes, and I believe that is
Yes, and I believe that is showing empathy towards your boss.