My need for change
I have recently been diagnosed with AS and I am currently coming to terms with this with regards to my past experiences and my future hopes. I have learnt alot about myself since learning about AS and my diagnosis at 31, which involved my mother, has freed me from the constraints of expectations that I would never have be able to fulfill.
It is now time to start again. I am in work, it is intense customer focused work ( app. 120 people a day, very noisy at times, low quality environment ), it gives me headaches and the shift work can give me stomach pains. The clinic are helping me prepare a letter to send to my HR department. I will explain how my condition both holds me back but is in many ways positive. My aim is to reduce my exposure to noise and volumes of people. I am not optimistic but this is a large company so maybe someone will help.
I intend also to approach the job centre and speak to the DEA. I will ask them for advice to help me find more suitable employment. My AS disability is mainly focused around a lack of interest in other people and being very 'to the point' in dealing with people. I like specific instructions, clearly defined roles, etc.
Any advice, thoughts, help, information are welcomed as I make these changes.
Personal Changes
How about trying to move to a back office location away from the "front line"?
I think that it is also important to try and secure some private working space. I never really appreciated how valuable this was until I worked in an open-plan office. I felt stifled and under the microscope all the time.
This compared with a previous job when I had my own office tucked in the corner of a smaller one. It meant I had privacy, but throughout the course of the day (as I walked through) I naturally came into contact with other people.
Its amazing how much stress this simple facet takes out of day-to-day existence.
Interacting with people? It seems as though some specific training in this area may be useful. I have never undertaken it but fellow AS's! say that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is very good.
Well done though for identifying issues that are impacting upon you and trying to do something about it.
Sickness break, now what?
I slipped quite quickly back into my old pattern of behaviour. The pressure of interaction at work with both collegues and customers got too much and when work came into conflict with my social plans I cancelled my social plans and vowed to avoid making social contacts again. It either had to be work or social, the routine of work over came social activity. This was a mistake. Last weekend my body gave up and I was in considerable abdominal pain due to anxiety for days. When this meant I couldn't attend a neighbours party my mind broke down at last. I am not due back to work now for three weeks as my Doctor has signed me off work for AS/ anxiety. As my body and mind recovers and I can meet my social contacts with ease, life will feel good. My work now becomes reading and learning, to pass the time. Soon though I will be back, I'll probably have meetings with HR/ Management where again I will ask for regular hours and specific designation of work. I don't want this. I need now to take off the mask I have been wearing so long, accept that I am infact bored at work and hiding behind the familiarity and routine of it despite its damaging effects on me. Basically I need to wipe the slate clean, get a new job and start again. With AS this has been hard in the past and now I am over-30 I worry I am running out of time. I am paralysed by worry and indecision which brings on more pain and anxiety. Any thoughts on where to turn for advice.
Timelines
Michael
Obviously, this is a worrying development.
I think that you are right to discuss the issue with HR. They are there to assist and you should look to work with them to put a formal work programme together. Its clearly what would be beneficial.
The other comment which caught my eye was the one about being in your 30's and time is moving on.
I often feel like this but, in the recent past, have come to believe that this is a mistake.
I am in my 40's now but realise that there is still time to do so much. I think I have worried too much about a "career" or what I do. When I was younger I just used to get up and "do" things - paper rounds etc.
I think that this resonates with AS in many ways. My boss has recently said that he doesn't want a career. That is in many ways how I feel too.
I don't know about your personal circumstances, but if you do feel that what you are doing is not right - change. So long as it meets your personal needs financially etc, that would be fine
Maybe we all worry too much about the job, when what we should be doing is taking a "work to live, not live to work" approach. This takes some of the anxiety out of the situation.
Good luck.