Lessons from Elsewhere

I am working with a lot of younger people at the moment and it is proving an excellent way of learning how to manage people.

The main reasons is because it is highlighting once again the importance of boundaries. It is not just about setting them - by outlining what is necessary and what will be tolerated.

Or perhaps more pertinently: what one will not tolerate.

I am working with a colleague who is teaching me an awful lot about all of this. He sets out his stall immediately by making it very clear what the boundaries are and then sticking rigidly to them. He basically won't compromise an inch!

This is not to say that he unfair - far from it. It is more about ensuring that is not seen as being a soft touch. He keeps it all very business like and refuses to allow people to get too close to him. If he has to take some stick then he does and accepts the consequences evenif it makes him unpopular.

I can see all the lessons and benefits of this in relation to my past experience. I can see looking back, how I was too keen to be liked and accepted behaviour towards me that I should never have tolerated.

Much of it was down to my AS: perceiving myself at times to be lesser in some way and so wanting to be liked; not demonstrating sufficidnt assertiveness and; become anxious in the face of criticism.

I am not saying that I have resolved all of this of course. However, my experience at work over the last two weeks has impressed on me even more the value of setting these boundaries and securing the subsequent respect as a result.