Happiness
I have entered a blog posting about how happy I am at the moment.
Though I am out of work currently - which most definitely is a worry - I am very contented. I am not under any personal stress and don't have to answer to anyone. Not having people bugging is absolutely fantastic.
These thoughts and observations motivated me to post heere as I reflected on the relevance of this to my job situation and when I am in work.
When I am not under pressure I can work very effectively and productively; when I am not, it all goes the other way. This extends, in my opinion, into the work environment. If I am unhappy in a job then I cannot work productively.
I have just left my last position. I wasn't happy and I wasn't being treated well; indeed, I believe that I was being constructively dismissed. However, I faced reality and, for the first time in my career, I decided that I wasn't going to let events dicate to me; I was going to take control and effect my own destiny.
In the past I allowed the former to happen. To be faor, it was a job that meant the absolute world to me so I was loathed to anything different. I was also very raw and didn't have the benefit of the subsequent experience. As a result, my confidence was seriously dented which, as a person with Asperger syndrome, can - and did - have very long, detrimental effects.
That experience taught me the important lesson of refusing to let that happen. Looking back, I am all the better for it. By refusing to work in an unhappy scenario I can ensure that I provide the environment for myself that always enables me to work productively.
Very unhappy.
Right now, I am very unhappy at work. I don't believe my talents are being used well and I also don't believe that the accommodations I am supposed to have are happening. To make matters worse, the support person I had in an employment agency dumped me suddenly as a client about 5 weeks ago.
I then found out she didn't fill the proper paperwork and didn't give me the opportunity to transfer to another agency. I also discovered she said I needed no more help and this is terrible coming from somebody I knew for nearly 8 years and who saw me have many ups and downs. I am still considering putting in a complaint because it has caused much personal distress.
She said we should still be friends but I believe she was just making that up. I don't care for being lied to, even if it is in the name of social politeness.
Being Realistic
I am sorry that you have experienced this. I know how upsetting it can be for someone with Asperger given how innately loyal and honest we are.
How you take things form here is entirely up to you of course, but I personally would leave it and try to move on.
I lost my career job which I loved about 15 years ago now. The company went through a "night of the long knives" via a very difficult corporate restructure and my boss, whom I liked very much "knifed" me. I took it very badly at the time.
The problem was was that he was being put under terrible stress by the person above him. Someone told me at a later date that my boss became physically ill as a result of the stress that he experienced due to the pressure he was being put under.
Later, I by chance bumped into my boss a year after we had both left the company and offered him an olive branch to show that I didn't hold any hard feelings against him. A fellow colleague commented on this and said that he thought that my boss was "quite touched". It certainly made me feel better as it reflected my "Asperger honesty".
My point is, is that you never know the real reasons as to why these things happen and it "may" be the case with the person you mention. I do not feel, therefore, that you take things personally and so take the view that - if there is a problem - then you should view it as residing in the other camp - not you.
Hard as though it is to accept these things they inevitably happen in the corporate world. It doesn't make it seem any more right to us of course, but that is the reality of the stituation and always will be.
I have conditioned myself now to always be good or "true to thine self" (to use the words in Hamlet I believe) and respect my Asperger personality. I am fair to people but have mentally conditioned myself not to expect automatic reciprocation in returnn. If I don't expetc, I don't beocme disappointed if I don't receive.
Looking back, I do believe I have been somewhat naive in this type of area but have learnt through the school of hard knocks that it is largely reality.
Like all my "Asperger Lessons" once I have learnt, and adopted, this position, dealing with - and accepting it - becomes an awful lot easier.
I hope that this helps.