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I had a repeat today of a past lesson that never fails to remind me of something very important.

A customer wasn't happy the dya before with part of the product that I had delivered and came to see me in quite an agitated state.

I remebered my key response criteria: stay calm and don't "Asperger" react!

This I did and then explained the situation to him before he left.

Today he comes in apologetic and says that he can see why I took the decision that he did, that he fully understands and, consequently, supports it. He then formally apologised; an apology which, of course, I immediately accepted.

I felt good afterwards. Firstly , for not reacting and also for learning my personal lesson by remaining calm.

Had a really useful lesson yesterday with regard to some listening practice.

I had a customer come to see me who was from overseas. His English was good but not mother-tongue level and it was quite difficult to discern precisely what he was saying.

Consequently, it forced me to focus and concentrate very hard and what he saying.

It took me a while to really understand where he was coming from and what he wanted. In the end though, I got it aided by some probing questioning on my part which brought him round partially to my and way. It also got him to appreciate exactly what he wanted also.

I found myself on a couple of occasions drifting away from paying attention and so forced myself to "come back".

I was really quite pleased with myself at the end because I got a positive outcome - and also reminded myself of a lesson I have to continually remind myself of!

I have just got back from over a week's holiday which was very nice (should have posted this on my blog).

Yesterday - first day back - hard. It always is. I find it hard to get back into a routine and worry if I am not doing enough.

My strategy in this instance is to not worry; take it easy and ease my way back in knowing that I will feel better shortly.

Today I did. I have worked productively and constructively and have got back fully into the groove.

Will post some more stuff shortly.

I have thought a lot of late about the subjetc of naievity and myself.

I think that I have demonstrated this quite a bit on occasions and it relates to my lower ability to empathise.

To give an example. I met an old colleague today who had just left the company I left a couple of years ago. It was the worst place that I had ever worked in and I negotiated an agreement to leave.

It turns out that a number of other departures had been engineered by management and my ex-colleague went on to say that the salaries being offered by the company were much lower than previously. When he said the latter nothing really clicked internally.

I never could understand why a company would take on people at expense, use them for a while and then engineer their departure at further cost.

However, as my current boss said today when I mentioned it to him (because he also worked for my former company on a part-time basis), "it is a way of redicing the payroll cost",

Obvious...

There is a challenge coming up that I need to give some thought to.

The division in which I work will shortly have a new CEO. I don't know him or anything about him, but the vibes emanating from other colleagues are not positive.

Apparently - all of this may not be true of course - he is not popular and has caused disruption from where he is coming from. Apparently existing staff there are not unhappy about his departure.

Again, this may simply be a result of him being a good CEO, i.e. one who is prepared to take tough but necessary decisions. In such situations the people on the receiving end are never likely to look favourably on him.

Against that, I need to start to get my mind around the potential consequences should the rumours prove to be accurate. Like many with AS I find aggressive management difficult to deal with.

I have already begun to formulate a strategy based on past experience.

I have just been in a presentation and observing a colleague.

I can't say that I have ever particularly warmed to him (I believe that I have talked about him previously) as I find him cold, aloof and somewhat blunt.

I know that other colleagues find him that way also and a previous colleague had a real personality clash with him.

However, back to the meeting today. The person in question made a number of interventions and comments relating to the session. I listened to what he said very carefully and found that I agreed with virtually everythinghe said. His comments were sensible, relevant, plausible and constructive - it was just the way he said things! His tone I believed came across as arrogant.

Someone once said about me that: "it's not what you say; its the way you say it".

Watching my colleague today I can understand how I can come across in such a fashion.

I blogged a week or two back about a new colleague: http://www.aspergermanagement.com/new-employee

He came into the office today asking for another colleague again: he clearly wanted more assistance.

I was polite to him but find myself becoming increasingly irritated and impatient about him. I am beginning to get the impression that he is leaning on others, as opposed to, trying to help himself.

I can see how looking back how I created a similar impression in a new job. I was nervous of course starting out and, because of my AS, needing that re-assurance that what I was doing was broadly correct initially, but I can see how others may - and in one case did - view me.

There is another colleague who heads up a small department. She comes across as very aloof and, though I always say hello and try to open up to her, she doesn't really respond. Its a demeanour that I don't warm to.

There is a new employee at work and it has been very interesting observing him over the last couple of weeks.

The reason why is because the way he is acting brings back memories of the experiences that I had when I joined a new company previously which, combined with the new employee's arrival, have provided a useful "Asperger learning" opportunity.

To go back to my experience.

The company that I joined was a marvellous one. Great culture, lovely people and a warm, supportive environment; one that was ideal for someone with Asperger syndrome.

When I joined I was very raw and inexperienced. However, everyone welcomed me into the company and offered to give me support and to ask if I needed any assistance - with one exception.

A week or so ago a colleague asked me if I would cover a meeting for him as he has had a family bereavement and so would have to attend a funeral.

Needless to say, (given my Asperger propensity to want to assist/help) I agreed.

His e-mail informed that it (the event) was sudden and on a Monday. I automatically assumed therefore that it was today (the 20th).

I have a tendency to start to read something - an e-mail, letter, memo etc - and quickly assume that I have "got" what it is all about, when the reality is I haven't and need to read everything and fully assimilate everything that is said and required.

I do a similar thing to this with listening. Someone will start saying something and I will automatically assume that I know and understand. Part of the problem in the audio context is that there is a limit to what I can effectively code cognitively - unless the subject is of real interest to me of course.

I've slipped back a bit in an important area this week but, fortunately, I have given myself the chance to rectify things a little.

One of the things that I am often pre-disposed to do as a result of my Asperger is to be too amenable to people.

Nothing wrong with that per se of course; indeed being open, helpful and friendly towards people is, in the main, a good thing.

However, it is also something that needs to be managed very carefully in a work context. I have learnt the hard way from past experience that if you are too amenable to people and don't set appropriate boundaries, then some - a minority - will exploit and take advantage of you. having AS means that this effect can become even more pronounced.

It helps hugely I have found to set appropriate boundaries from the start as it sends the right message to begin with.