Assisting Others
Submitted by Malcolm on Thu, 11/29/2007 - 19:00.
Changing the angle of this discussion slightly.
Has anybody considered, or actually, gone out of their way to assist other colleagues who are being victimised?
If so, were there any aspects of Asperger that influence the situation or outcome at all?
Assistance, asking for Assistance...
I'm going to go off tangent with this one a little. When I saw this topic developed I thought about some questions.
I won't get into examples of my own yet but it would be interesting to know the following:
1. Do people ask for your assistance at work a lot?
2. Do have problems giving assistance to others at work?
3. Do people take advantage of you after you gave them assistance at a previous time?
4. Have you ever rejected any request of assistance before?
5. Do you feel comfortable asking for assistance?
6. When you request for assistance do you actually get helped?
7. Does it bother or annoy you to be asked for assistance?
8. Do people get annoyed with you when you ask them for assistance?
Exaggerated Effects
There are two things that apply to me from this list (good extension of the topic by the way).
1. What I have tended to do in the past is maybe overdo the assistance. I think that it is good to offer it initially but not then always try to do so or be conspicously available. I know that our trait means that we like to help as it is a way of feeling approved of/wanted, but it can be taken too far the other way.
In the past I have done this and I think that people then feel you are a soft touch and can take advantage. This possibly leads to other negatives such as being the focal point of "projection" for other people and their problems.
2. I don't think that I have asked others for assistance often enough. The reson for this is that I perceive I would be viewed as ineffectual or as having shortcomings.
Obviously, its important not to overdo these things, but asking for help does mean bringing other people into the fold and can bring other benefits also.
Most people like to think they are appreciated and have something worthwhile to say and contribute and, importantly, its an excellent way of building relationships and rapport with work colleagues.