Advancement to Directorship and beyond
I've always had an ambition to become an executive board member with an IT background. I've long held the belief that the current attitudes of CTO's (that IT departments are a service to be used by the business) are holding businesses back. I believe that IT departments should be partners with the business.
How many technologies go unexploited because marketing or sales teams don't know what they're capable of? How many products are "sold" that can never be built? What would happen if new service/product brainstorming happened between marketing, sales AND IT?
That was my angle. I'm still far too young to be considering this as a realistic near term goal (33) but it was always my long term goal.
As such I had approached my director for guidance and mentoring to help me make the next step to director. Things were going well, I wasn't finding it easy but I was learning where I was weak and was thinking about embarking on an MBA to help me understand the wider sphere of the business.
Then disaster struck. A bit melodramatic but it's thrown my ambition into dissaray and it's why I'm posting here.
A year or so ago I attended a long service party all the tables were being hosted by directors and as I entered the function room I noticed I was down to host a table. I was the only non-director on the list. My boss told me he had arranged it as part of my training (he's not good at giving notice :)). I was nervous but saw the challenge for what it was. Well to cut a long story short I failed miserably but was rescued by my very capable wife who took over my duties when it was obivous I couldn't handle it.
This led directly to the discovery that I have AS.
So here's the point:
Given I have AS, which means social situations are awkward at best is there anyway to continue beyond mere management and into the world of directorship and beyond?
Are there such things as good directors who aren't socially capable? I know there must be socially awkward directors but are they good?
-Grant
Practice and Self-Forgiveness
With practice you can master any social skills you need, but you must forgive yourself for the mistakes you are going to make. Most of them will be because of anxiety. You are human. It will be embarrassing. Grow a thick skin. Let your wife help you understand and cope. She sounds great.
An MBA is a great idea, along with some courses in psychology to better understand the goals of the business and of the people around you. Get a book on etiquette. The mistakes you make with the people working for you will be the hardest to take, so go in carefully. When you do mess up, spot it fast and fix it faster. No manager gets far without good work from their employees.
You need for your boss to stop "surprising" you with these situations. Let him know you value and appreciate his help, but you need advance notice at least until you get used to the social situations. After you have done a few more, you'll be surprised how much easier it gets. Not easy, just easier. It's not easy for anyone, no matter how it looks.
The partnering idea has been done elsewhere, and it works. One long-time notable is IBM. Check old issues of CIO magazine for more information and other companies.
Response - Various
Really useful comments again. There are three things I would like to comment on further.
I think what you say about socialising is correct. If it becomes too much withdraw; ideally just briefly to re-charge the batteries/regain some calmness etc.
Secondly with regard to promotion. Personally, I am not sure that manipulation is quite the right word. Some people undoubtedly do so [manipulate], but I think that the majority of people who do get on do so by "playing the game" effectively!
This can be within acceptable parameters. It is when people move outside those and start to denigrate others that it becomes unacceptabel - and possibly dangerous for someone with AS who, given our "differentness" makes us a more of a potential target.
This was what a Director in a former company (and also a personal bete noire!) engaged in. He was though the best exponent I have ever encountered in the field of organisational politics. He knew where the power laid and pandered to those who had it; was highly adept at seeing forthcoming change and positioning himself for it and; chose his battles very carefully.
I don't think that you have to be manipulative per se. From an Asperger perspective I think you can be yourself and totally honest. The key, from my experience, is not antagonising those higher up who may be challenging you - negatively - even though you feel you are justified in doing so as a result of their actions and, also, standing your ground and working to get what you require to do your job effectively. In other words focus on delivering business tangibles.
To help achieve this I always ask for feedback. This helps overcome one of the AS difficulties: infering and not be entirely clear internally exactly what is required of you and; ensures that you are always working towards the goals that are expected of you - and that your superior is aware of, and acknowledges, it. This enables you to deliver.
I apply this principle to anyone who is working for me also to ensure they know what they should be doing and how they can contribute. I ask them for feedback on me at things like appraisals. Every manager will have areas they need to work on. By giving staff the opportunity to say what, means that rapport and effective working relationships can be constructed.
Advancement
I am really pleased that this has been posted.
Firstly, the technical question. I have no doubt that technical, i.e. IT professionals will advance in organisations increasingly. I work in Marketing and this is becoming increasingly apparent. Its not like the old days where the Finance person dominated.
The reason I think this is because of the increasing impact that technology is having. However, its up to individual's to make it happen.
Which leads on the second - more important - point.
You mention that you don't have a wide understanding of business. Well, I have an MBA and it is invaluable for this reason. I am not one of those people who believe that having this piece of paper turns you into a CEO overnight (read my book for some insight into that!) but it does give you the broad sweep of knowledge that makes you literate about different aspects of business and, so, able to communicate more credibly with fellow professionals.
This leads to others issues relating to point two: socialising. If you also look at my profile on this site you will see that I did a Psychology degree with the Open University.
The reason I undertook this course (as well as out of interest) was to increase my understanding of others - and myself.
What has become apparently obvious to me throughout my career in management is the importance of "soft skills" inter-relating with others, office politics etc. These subjects are included in the content area on my site.
Socialising is another example. Its part of the workplace - networking, getting to know people informally to gain their support elsewhere.
Of course its not easy for someone with AS, but it can be done. If we don't try to learn and progress, we never will. Well done for having the couarge to try. Do it again; you will do even better next time.
Would really appreciate some further postings on this subject because it is hugely important.
It is probably easier to
It is probably easier to work in a technology management role if you have AS than many other fields. People are more forgiving of quirks and personality traits.
I have very mixed feelings about this site (and the book). I would very much like to think that it is possible for someone to successfully advance to a senior management position in a large organisation, but I also am skeptical that this is a sensible goal for someone with AS.
I have some direct experience of holding a senior management position. The observation that socialising is essential is spot on, as is showing empathy and effectively handling the non-verbal (ie emotional) aspects of communication. Unfortunately, repeatedly I seem to miss these aspects completely and some subsequent discussion or event shows that I often have completely lost the non-literal meaning from many interactions with other people. This is bad in large groups of people, and particularly so if there are several conversations or background noise (eg: dinners, where sensory overload can also be an issue).
Other difficulties come from communication methodologies (visual; detail orientation). I believe that I can seem to be very unstructured when discussing aspects of a problem. I think this is because of the way I think - visualising the topic of discussion. Translating this in to words in real time is very hard for me, although using tools such as a graphical editor and powerpoint can work extremely well.
Dealing with this has been possible, but utterly exhausting. Although I think that it is important to challenge your own limitations, I think that for work it is important to be active in a role that can make the most of your inherent skills and characteristics. For me, management is possibly the least sensible and most stressful/exhausting activity that I could undertake and it does not seem to get easier even as my understanding improves.
Do other people find that it is possible to learn to do the social things without consciously thinking everything through all the time?
Getting the Balance Right
I can resonate with all of what you say.
Like you it is the emotional, non-conscious communication or aspects of management that I find demanding. Like you also, I have been found short in the past.
However, I have learnt and do believe that it is possible to do so. The key for me is to learn from your mistakes and listen to the criticism that may come one's way.
I know that this is, perhaps, the hardest thing for someone with AS to do. It means coming to terms with some of the hardest shortcomings that AS affords on us, such as the possibility that are we deluding ourselves that we can do things that we are simply, through no fault of our own, not equipped to do.
However, there are ways of progressing. With regard to non-literal meaning, one technique that I have developed is concentrating on watching Films and TV Programmes in a much more in-depth fashion.
Before I would simply take in the top line scenario. I wouldn't, for example, try to pick up the nuances of inter-personal relationships or the non-literal meaning from the storyline. Often this means watching a programme again to pick up these points (sometimes after a third-party has explained them more clearly) having got the overall plot first time up.
Doing so really helps me in an organisational setting
Your point about communication strategies is also highly pertinent. This site is going to look further closely at Visual Learning as a technique. I know that I can formulate and hone my thoughts by laying them out spatially and then presenting; I am not that adept at doing this cognitively. Powerpoint presentations are a good example.
You finish by saying that you have been able to undertake more senior roles, but that they have been exhausting.
I think that the key point is finding the right balance. If you over extend oneself, then this is likely to happen. From my personal experience, its a question of understanding your limitations and what you can cope with at a particular time.
The really encouraging thing for me is that once I find that once I have learnt a lesson it really DOES stick. It is harder for me to do so in the first place, but once it has, I never have to learn it again! For me it does become easier.
Would really like to keep this thread going as it is proving enormously insightful.
People
I find that the major problem in dealing with other people is not the logical understanding how to respond to another person's given (non-verbal) state, but sensing what that state is. I can not usually detect subtle emotional states in people and when tired find it difficult to detect even gross states.
It is difficult to pay close attention to both audible and visual communication channels - I suspect that trying to switch between such modes and then trying to track the data from several people in real time is what makes social communication tiring for me.
Something that helps here is walking out of the engagement for a few minutes, before saturating. I do this at social events, and also sometimes leave early. It is better to have had some interaction than none.
I think that the term 'director' is ambiguous. An internal management position of director (eg: under US job names) is quite different from a board seat. In IT, a director will mainly be interacting with their technical staff, many of whom will have similar styles of thought and interests. However, a board level director primarily interacts with many other critical people, including investors and press and non-IT management. In my experience, this is much harder and much less forgiving of any AS slanted interactions.
Another experience of senior positions is that many (perhaps the majority) or senior people get their position because they are skilled at manipulating other people in order to advance their career. Logically, you might expect career progression to be based on ability to do the job, but in practise it is at least partly based on ability to manipulate other people. Aspies are at a disadvantage therefore when trying to obtain promotion, and if there is competition for a position, can find themselves subject to some fairly nasty behaviour from other people that is difficult to counter.
Lastly, something that I find problematic is obtaining feedback. Unfortunately, my perception of myself is as being 'normal'. Without good feedback about things that are being missed or going wrong, it is difficult to adapt.